It's been some time since I've written anything on this page. Many of you have long since left been checking this, rightfully so. I've been self consumed and selfish. Utterly indulged.
A brief update, my 7th surgery passed not 6 weeks back. A bone graft to my once shattered Tibia. Well, they decided to break it again. Chainsaw some bone out of my left hip, as to avoid the healing shattered right end of the cradle. Once a donor piece was salvaged they grind it up and stuff it into the newly broken donor site, that being my left leg. I'm growing weary.
I'm walking again, gaining my spirits. My bicep has a flicker, the first big step. I don't know what to think. I'm no longer the person I used to be. Do I want it to heal, I define myself by my gimp now. Weird I know, but true. No movement but a chance, a new chance.
Perspective is all about the beholder. On one side I have a friend whose lost the use of his legs speaking of his time, on the other side a guy complaining about his cuticle. Somewhere I lie between. Perspective is simply each his own.
I remember, as a wee gaffer, the insatiable appetite of the climber to attest to the "Hardness" of ones ascent. "The hardest scariest thing I've done", you don't have to flip to any page of any climbing magazine to read the like. Fair enough. Recently this got me thinking of what "hard" was. I think that humanity has propensity for suffering. And, trying to climb, work, battle through a difficult route, mountain or problem is a manifestation of that. At the end, an achievement of progress, conquest or growth. But all personal. In the end, that's all I ever asked for from life, the experience. Mine at the moment is simply trying to heal to live normally. Its kind of refreshing. Why is that? Really, what is hard?
I'll never use the word "Hard" again in the same way
3 comments:
p.s. Forgot to mention yesterday - I like the new blog post. Interesting thoughts from a difficult personal journey.
Bender,
Good to see you. Thanks for the update keep posting. It's always interesting reading about the battle/adventure (it's how you look at things) you are going through. You're still an insperation, go figure eh!
Fat boy slim.
out
The flicker in the arm is encouraging. The bones will heal dude and we're all pulling for you. Definitely get in touch if you're ever - and I do mean ever - through Squampton or just want to bs. For sure the "hard" est thing you'll ever do. And that's saying a lot.
And yeah, I heard about the dude with the infected finger nail. Nice guy and all but please - cry me a river:)
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